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But First, a Very Important GIF

(Doesn't really have to do with anything on the page, I just really fucking love Disney's Tarzan)

Site Disclaimer

I, the owner of this website, am not responsible for you calling or texting any fake phone numbers seen on the site. While most are clearly fake (i.e. those with the "555" prefix), there could potentially be a randomly-generated number that belongs to a real person. If those people get angry at you or sic law enforcement on you, that's all on you.

Privacy and Cookie Notice

I will not collect any identifying information about you. No Google Analytics, nothing. I, the site owner, value your privacy as much as mine. However, as the guestbook uses HTML Comment Box, it may leave cookies on your computer. If you don't want these cookies, I highly recommend deleting them. I suggest you read HTML Comment Box's privacy policy here. Also, if you're not using extensions that block trackers in [insert current year here], then what the fuck are you doing?

You may also get a cookie just for visiting the site. This is normal, many sites do this, and my site does this since it's hosted by Neocities. If you do not want this cookie on your machine, I suggest either blocking or removing it.

Furthermore, as a fair warning, I have allowed all permissions for the Internet Archive's bot in this site's robots.txt file. This means that this website can (and will) be logged into the IA's Wayback Machine. The IA is a very important organization that is dear to my heart, and that is why I'm comfortable with their bot crawling my pages for archiving purposes. If this makes you uncomfortable, then I suggest not signing the guest book, or at least not using your real name or current Internet handle when signing it.

Why the Hell Does This Site Exist?

This is the project of one very bored 2000's kid nostalgic for the shittily-made GeoCities sites of the 90's and early 2000's. Don't get me wrong, I love modern web design. It's so smooth, calming, and aesthetically pleasing. It's amazing how web design's evolved over the Internet's lifespan. However, I'm drawn to those homemade, free websites from the ye olden days. They've got a charm to their shittiness, really. It was a time when the Internet was new and exciting and everyone with a modem wanted to mark their place on the web, even if they knew next to nothing about web design. The sheer shittiness is art in and of itself.

I wanted to harken back to the GeoCities websites of yore. Where your average Internet user had unbridled creativity, crap web development skills, and a free hosting service at their disposal. This site is meant to look shitty and make your eyes bleed. I'm not using that as a cop-out, I'm being serious. I just want my creativity to flow and add whatever the hell I want, just like people did in the 90's and 2000's.

TL;DR: Personal art project/shitpost with webcore themes.

Also, Why the Phone Themes?

I was inspired by classic forum spam and malicious ads. More recurring themes are probably going to pop up, this is a continuing work in progress after all.

Is This Part of an ARG?

NO. If it is, I did not give permission for the ARG creator to do this! If you're a visitor who plans on using my shitty site for your shitty ARG, turn away, this ain't what you're looking for.